Having a partner who loves and cares for you genuinely is no less than bliss. When you have someone who is supportive, loving and caring, life seems beautiful. But what if you are with someone who no longer values you? Being in a relationship where you are the one who always compromises and adjusts to ensure that the relationship goes on can be really suffocating. You may sacrifice your dreams, hopes and wishes just to keep your partner happy but then in the end, you are the one who’s sad and heartbroken.
Therefore, it is important to find out if your partner values you.. In order to help you with this, we are here with some signs that you need to go through.
1. Your partner doesn’t put efforts in the relationship
One of the signs that your partner doesn’t value is that he/she never puts effort into the relationship. No matter how hard you try, your partner will be least interested in strengthening your relationship. He/she would never care to do new things to keep the spark alive in the relationship.
2. Your partner never does things for you
One of the ways of letting your partner know that you care for him/her is by doing a few special things for him/her. For example, writing a special note, bringing presents, cooking a special dish, etc. can be one of the ways to let your partner know that he/she is extremely special to you.
3. Your partner avoids any serious conversation
Having a serious conversation in any relationship is one of the important things. But if your partner always avoids having a good and serious conversation with you, then this could be because he/she least values you. In fact, your partner may not speak to you for days and won’t care to know your whereabouts.
4. He dismisses your emotions as silly or invalid.
Does he always dismiss your feelings as being silly or tells you that you're overreacting to a situation all the time? So much so, that you feel wary of asking him for fear that he will brush your feelings aside. If he does this and never pays attention to what you're feeling, then it's a sign he doesn't value you.
5. He believes his thoughts and opinions are more important than yours.
A man who doesn't value you will never be an open and patient listener. He doesn't appreciate it when you put forth a view or an opinion be it a one-on-one or as a part of a group setting. Instead, more often than not, he prefers to shut you down by imposing his opinions and thoughts as the only important thing.
6. He makes you doubt your selfworth.
A man who doesn't value you will always question you, and make you doubt your self-worth. This he does by belittling you in public about your weaknesses or berating you otherwise in private. This way your morale weakens over a period of time, and you begin to doubt yourself.
7. He makes you feel like you are not worthy.
When push comes to shove, he makes you feel like he's doing you a favor by being with you. By doing this, he instills a sense of worthlessness in you. This affects you on so many levels, and the often this keeps happening to you, the more you strongly believe that you're not worth it at all. Even in front of your friends and family, he constantly belittles you, but you keep justifying him by saying whatever he does is out of love.
8. He compares you with others.
You feel like you're being constantly compared to the other people in his life. Your choices in clothes and career and whatever it is that he has an opinion on, he compares it to other people. This, in turn, makes you wonder if you're making the right choices. This is not a one-off thing, This is something he does constantly, be it when you're out on a date with him or on a trip with your friends.
9. He takes you for granted
He doesn't pay as much attention to your feelings as he does to his. His needs come first and yours never. He expects you to keep a friendly and happy face for him whether you are in the mood or not. He is never supportive of you and doesn't think twice before leaning on you. If he just assumes that you will be there no matter what, despite being inconsiderate of you, he no longer values you.
10. He doesn't listen to you
His opinions and thoughts are always the deciding factors, whether you agree or not. He never pays attention to what you have to say about anything or even how your day went. If he's just cruising through the relationship without being an attentive partner and communicating with you, then it might be time to have a hard talk with him. Since these signs indicate that his priority is no longer you.
11. He brushes away your pain and hurt
He refuses to take your complaints about him seriously and treats you harshly by infantilizing your needs. He invalidates the hurt and pain he has caused you by his disinterested behavior. He never acknowledges his mistakes towards you and instead lays the blame at your feet. He always spins the problems to make you feel guilty causing you further pain. If you are going through these with your partner, he doesn't value you anymore.
12. He Dismisses Everything That You do For Him
I remember I used to get caught up in this when I dated men. I got so caught up in that Beyonce upgrade you song so whenever a man I was with needed help professionally or there was something that I could do for him (even when I broke my freakin neck) I would do it. This could include planning something romantic or just going out of your way to do something that you feel or he should appreciate only to be met with a dismissive attitude or he just downplays what you do as no big deal. When in fact you have done a whole bunch.