This article is a buildup on a previous article titled "5 Effective Ways to Build Trust." Before we start, know that this isn't a hack list. You can't hack your way into trust, trust isn't a matter of inputting the right actions and getting out a result, trust is a feeling and it's hard to fake being a genuine, reliable and honest person. Think of all the times you've met someone new and walked away with a good impression, look back on the encounter and think of what made you feel that way. and if you can't remember the last time you met someone new, then here's a list to remind you of some of the basics and how to get people to trust you.
It's not just a coincidence you feel comfortable accepting a friend request on Facebook when you see that person has friends in common with you. Nope, it's actually science. The term for this is triadic closure and it's a phenomenon that explains that two people are more likely to become close if they have a third person in common. A study done using Facebook as a backdrop showed that if people had 11 or more friends in common they would accept the request 80% of the time.
You can't humbug your way into people's hearts so be sure your greeting is warm and inviting. Nothing is more infectious than a smile. Okay, well COVID 19 still exists so keep your facemasks on and smile with your eyes for now. Try to use people's names when you greet them and even if you're calling them, smile. When you talk to them, you can actually hear it in someone's voice and it makes all the difference.
Being a fast talker might be great if you're an auctioneer but for the rest of us, it makes you seem a tad sketchy. It can seem like you're covering your tracks because you're nervous or being dishonest or full of hot air and just trying to steamroll the conversation. People use a lot more words than they need to in order to get their points across. Instead, talk slowly, this will allow you to choose your words more deliberately, which will make you sound smarter too. Speaking slower also shows calmness and naturally leads to people trusting you more.
Everyone is interesting, even the person you think might be boring will have a backstory, a philosophy, or a dream that might surprise you. But the difference between realizing that everyone is interesting and that you're not surrounded by morons is the questions you ask. People asking someone “tell me about what you do” is profoundly different from asking someone “what do you do?”
And the responses will be worlds apart. Great questions encourage people to share and go deeper with their answers rather than promoting a KG kind of interaction that ‘yes and no answers’ create. Truly sharing builds trust, so start building trust by getting to know people and letting them get to know you.
Building on the previous point, showing disinterest breaks trust. The art of listening will go a long way in helping people to trust you. If we don't feel like we're being listened to, then it's hard to trust someone's response. It's so simple to listen but so few of us do it properly, our mind is running through the shopping list, our attention drifts to a nearby conversation or your thumb starts itching and you check your phone while someone right in front of you is trying to tell you something. Show that you're really listening and taking in what the person says and you'll build immediate trust and your feedback or opinion will be far more important.
Here are some easy ways to be a good listener; maintain eye contact, nod as you follow along with what they're saying, don't interrupt people in the middle of making their point and the most valuable of them all, when they're finished talking don't immediately roll into your own monologue. Perhaps, ask a great follow-up question or wait a second before you start your response. This will show that you listened and took a moment to prepare your response.
Thanks for reading. See you in the next article.