If She Always Farts In Your Presence, See What It Means

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Source: http://www.mtv.com/news/1966729/girls-farts-relationships/

When we females don't hold back, though, our actions speak (and smell) louder than our words. It can be highly telling when a girl farts about what she's thinking, but not every rip indicates the same thing. Our gas can mean different things, just like how some words we use can mean different things. Each toot may have a different subtext. Although it's not clear-cut (insert wet fart joke here), if she's farting, she's probably considering one of these.

First, "I adore you."

This is merely her means of affirming the degree of intimacy you've attained, which is quite typical in long-term relationships.

2. "You're in the Friend Zone."

She may be farting around you, but it doesn't mean she loves you; it only indicates that she feels at ease. This is most likely a platonic gesture that indicates, "Let's be pals," if your connection is unclear. Therefore, unless you want to lose a friend and appear to have a flatulence fetish, don't move (if you still want to).

3. "I sense a threat."

When in danger, skunks' anal glands exude their distinctive odor. While they don't always work as nature's pepper spray, girl farts sometimes do. Having a stomach full of gas in an uncomfortable situation can feel like a blessing, even though we can't always do it on command (in disgusting disguise). She may be farting to get your attention, whether it's out of instinct or just good luck. You are now without an option.

4. "I don't respect boundaries."

Whether you consider her to be a free spirit or simply a slob doesn't matter. Because she would fart in front of anyone, she is doing so in front of you. Think of yourself as nothing more than a target in the crossfire.

I'm only human, after all.

Like you, girls are far from perfect. Sometimes we fart because suppressing it makes us feel worse than the potential humiliation. She may be unwell, but Dr. Oz suggests that her gas may also be a sign of her good health. The good news is that she is also implying that you are only human and capable of farting profusely, as if you weren't going to anyhow.

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