How To Fix a Huge Argument With Your Boyfriend

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What do you do when you’ve had a huge argument with your boyfriend? It's likely that both of you feel resentful, angry, or upset. If you want to remain in your relationship, there are ways to repair it. Start by understanding the dispute at hand and then apply compassion and humility to the situation.


1. Cool down. You cannot expect to resolve an argument immediately after it has occurred. In the wake of a disagreement, take some time to cool down. Take a few hours, even a few days, to cool down and process your emotions properly. Take a long walk, go see a friend, watch a movie. Engage in relaxing activities until you've calmed down enough to look at the situation objectively.[1]Don't: storm off without saying anything.

Do: say "I'm upset and need some time to cool down. Can we talk about this tomorrow?


2. Analyze what caused the fight. Fights rarely happen over nothing. Take some time to analyze what caused the fight and whether there is anything you could have done differently in the situation.

Review what occurred. Why did you start fighting? What triggered the argument? What was said? Do you regret anything you said? Why or why not?

Keep in mind memory is subjective, especially in stressful situations. It's likely your girlfriend might remember certain aspect of the fight differently than you. This is normal. It does not necessarily mean one of you is being untruthful. It's just that stress can cause memories to be inaccurate.


3. Express your feelings. After an argument, you need to accept and experience your feelings. While we may dislike emotions like anger and sadness, it's important to acknowledge them rather than ignore them. Stifling your feelings can cause an explosion down the road.

Accept that emotions are not always rational. If your girlfriend hurt your feelings, for example, logically knowing she did not mean to do so might not help you let it go. Know that you and your girlfriend are both entitled to an emotional response to a disagreement, even if that response is not entirely logical.[4]Don't: shout "How could you do this?!"

Do: say "I'm angry because you broke the promise you made yesterday.

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