Do you keep embarrassing yourself because you are too shy to talk to a girl? Are you sick and tired of being so afraid of girls? Well, I get it. I used to be you. To fix this, you need to understand why.
It was hard for me to even consider flirting because I’d freeze in front of a girl I liked or felt attracted to.
However, I was able to grow out of this by focusing more on having a good time than impressing a girl.
This was something that I learned unconsciously and unexpectedly. I gave up on the idea of becoming a suave and charming guy. In doing so, I ended up behaving and speaking like a suave and charming guy.
How ironic is that!
With that being said, let’s discuss each of the reasons why you are shy to talk to a girl.
I’ve noticed that when I really dig into the core reason why a lot of guys struggle to communicate with women, it often leads back to a self-esteem problem.
This was something I dealt with myself.
I was a chubby kid in my early years. I never thought about it until a group of cousins and friends my age made fun of me for being chubby.
Suddenly, I became very self-conscious about it. The problem is that when you start fixating on a flaw, you start to find more of them. They all become highlighted.
This really affected my self esteem.
Then, in my very late teens, I started to breakout with acne.
This was one of the worst experiences because people would point it out to me as if I was blind to my own skin.
My confidence shattered during this period and I remember looking at the ground when talking to people because I was so afraid of being judged. I was ashamed of the way I looked.
Thankfully, this experience pushed me towards self improvement.
I lost a lot of weight and cleared up my skin by the time I turned 21.
By this point, I gained a ton of confidence.
However, it wasn’t the weight loss or clear skin that helped me gain confidence.
It was the fact that I worked towards accomplishing my goals of losing weight and eating healthier to clear my skin that made me feel strong, confident and bold.
This ended up translating into my dating life because I started to view myself as someone who was strong-willed, smart, hard-working, disciplined and humble.
My confidence skyrocketed from this point onward.
The point I’m trying to make is that when you lack self-esteem and self-worth, it’s difficult to feel confident in what you have to offer.
You’ll always feel doubt about whether people like you and this will prevent you from even putting yourself in a position of being judged even if it seems ridiculous to fear that.
When you build self-esteem, being able to talk to a girl despite being shy will be easy.
Sometimes, people mistake being introverted for lacking confidence but they are not one and the same.
As an introvert, you may be shy talking to a girl during the very first interaction but as time goes on, that shyness dissipates, you start to feel more comfortable and the conversation starts to flow with ease.
It’s not something to be embarrassed of or something that needs fixing.
What you can do, though, is work on speeding up the time it takes for you to feel comfortable while talking to a girl you find attractive.
A simple fix for an introvert is to choose a location that you’re comfortable with as well as practice talking to girls until it becomes easier.
Some guys have the trouble of placing women on a pedestal.
What I mean by this is that they value women so highly above themselves that it’s practically impossible to talk to them as equal.
Obviously, you’re going to be shy talking to a girl if in your eyes, she’s practically a goddess and you’re nothing more than a peasant.
By doing this, I feel like you’re cheating her and yourself on the possibility of a great conversation, if not more.
It’s far more productive and sensible to view all women as your equal while maintaining a great deal of respect for them.
In doing so, you’ll treat them in a respectful manner without demeaning yourself in the process to the point of not even being able to talk to them.
Beautiful and smart women are just like you and me. They have flaws. They have off days. They wake up with morning breath. They fart. They poop. They’re human beings. View and treat them like one.
Here’s the thing, it’s okay to be shy. It’s okay to be intimidated.
But, what’s not okay is allowing those emotions to ruin or sabotage your love life just because you view someone as beautiful or smart.
Those attributes ought to excite you.
Instead of closing up, you should be excited about opening up and having a conversation with someone you find attractive!