Hello, welcome to my today's amazing jokes collection, you deserve to be happy and smile always that's why I've taken it upon myself to ensure I post some funny jokes that will make you laugh out hard.
Remember whatever that would cost your happiness is too expensive. Joke 1
So today I decided to go and rest at my mom's restaurant. On a normal day I won't even cross there but I just felt like going there to catch glimpse of those classy babe that usually come to eat there, when I got there, I met my younger sister there working as one of the food attendants, since I didn't come there to work I just copied one corner and got busy with my phone.. Few minutes later, I looked up and saw my sister serving food to a pretty damsel.
Ah! Omo the babe fresh die, her dressing shows her taste for classy things and her sense of fashion, couldn't resist her beauty, so I scan through my mind sharp sharp for the best way to approach her, boom! An idea came, better one o, as coded that I am, I changed seat to the one closer to her and acted like a customer. my younger sister knew my moves so she smiled, this my little sister Sha!
But she decide to play along. That's why I love my little sister.
ME: Hello! Please can you attend to me? I need food and am in a hurry, I didn't park my car well (my sister smiled and the girl gave me a charming look)
my sister: (serving me) customer you can change car o!. argh! Look at the type of car you brought today. (My sister said pointing at someone's Range Rover, that parked outside)
ME: yeah, that one belong to my mom,my dad travelled, so my mom took his Lamborghini and I decided to use my mom's Range Rover since am tired of driving that my ferrari.(I didn't even know how I take gather those lies so quickly)
my sister couldn't hold the laughter any longer, so she ran to the kitchen section and blast it out in a hot laughter
.....I was left alone with the girl, so I introduced myself to her and we started chatting and I brain washed her with the latest version of lies that I downloaded from devil play-store, she was all smiles and was giving me the required green light that I needed, when she was about to succumb, my mom just entered.....boom! the next thing I heard was................
Ebuka Na so u go dey chop like mumu. It's only food that you know, even the costumer you're talking to have finished eating and you're waiting for someone to tell you to take the plate to the kitchen and wash them before you do it. anyway, did u sell the moi-moi finish?
Chai I have finally disgraced my ancestors.
I went to a cinema with my friend Frank, on getting to the cinema we saw a bald guy, I showed the guy to Frank and said "Look at fresh head,this one is good to slap, but I'm afraid of the guy's face".
Frank then said to me "Bro, you fear a lot,I will slap that head and nothing will happen".
I dared him to do it and he went to where the guy was sitting and gave him a HOT Slap on his head. The guy was surprised, and wanted to react, then Frank said "Bros Mark, so you are here, and we have been looking for you at home!"
The guy responded "I'm not Bros Mark, maybe we look alike", Frank murmured "maybe."
After some minutes In the cinema, Frank tapped and called me again and said "Bro, I will slap that guy again and nothing will happen." I answered "ok"
He went to the guy, gave him a hot slap and
said "Bros Mark stop lying, I say na u be
The guy said to him angrily "I'm not Bros
Mark,please, let me be". The guy then left
that seat and went to the front seat.
After some minutes Frank called me and said
"Bro, I will slap that guy again and nothing will happen."
This time i told him that "if anything happens,I will pretend I don't know him."
He stood up, went to the front seat, gave the
guy a very hot slap and said"Bros Mark, so
na here you dey, I come dey slap another
person for back!"
Never argue with a woman, just use your
brains like this my guy.
A man went on a night out with his
friends the wife is furious and tells the kids that when he comes back they must not open the door for him.
At about 12 o'clock the man comes back and knocks...
the Wife told him "go sleep where your coming from " and the man answered" I'm not here to sleep my dear, I'm here to collect condoms in my room on top of the table or give it to me, there are lots of women at the party!" The wife opened the door and said "idiot" you are not going anywhere. Enter the house.
Teacher: "What is 1+1?
Teacher: "What is 2+5?"...
" Teacher: "Correct"
Teacher: "What is 4+6?
"Teacher: "Good, it will remain like that until
government pays my salary!
RUNS-GIRL: Oga U wan do?..
Mr Ebuka: If only u go do am like my wife..
RUNS-GIRL: Yes NA! How she dey do am?..
Mr Ebuka: She dey do am for FREE!
A man was trying to show his 15 year old son
the danger in taking alcohol so he brought
earthworm and alcohol.
He poured the alcohol on the earth worm.
After a little while the worm dissolved and he
asked the child, "what lesson can you
learn from this?"
The boy replied, "when we take alcohol, we
won't have worms."
A Journalist to a
Doctor of a mental hospital & the following
conversation ensued :
JOURNALIST : How do you determine to admit
a patient or not ?
DOCTOR : Well, we first fill a bathtub with
water till the top. We then give a teaspoon, a
glass cup and a bucket to the patient and ask
him/her to empty the bathtub.
JOURNALIST : Obviously a normal person
would use the BUCKET because it's bigger.
DOCTOR : No, you're stupid! A normal person
would pull the DRAIN PLUG! Nurse, admit this
idiot in Ward 7!!
Akpos went to an electronic store, he asked
the storekeeper "what is the price of this TV?"
The storekeeper answered "we don't sell our
products to Akpos." Akpos again came next
day by cutting his beard and asked "what is
the price of this TV?" The storekeeper replied
"we don't sell our products to Akpos". The
next day Akpos came with a different face
and asked "what is the price of this TV?" The
shopkeeper replied "we don't sell our
products to Akpos." Finally Akpos got irritated
and asked the shopkeeper "how do you
recognise me every time?" The storekeeper
replied "because this is not a TV it is
Which number made you laugh most?
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