Woman who was in an abusive relationship wrote this for her abuser on Facebook.

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Gender Based Violence is one of the biggest problems in South Africa. A lot of women are being abused by their partners, and choose to stay in those abusive relationships for the sake of "I love him", "He will change." and "I make him do it." In most cases women who stay in abusive relationships make up excuses for the reason why they are still in those relationships. Some women leave those relationships in bodybags and there are those brave women who leave while they are still alive. 

Yesterday a woman who was in abusive relationship shared a heartfelt message for her abuser. 

"I have a story to tell. I didn't leave because I loved you less. I left because I started to love and value myself more. 

I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt because it does. It hurts more than the punches you threw at me, it hurts more than the emotional abuse and the burden of playing the role of wife while still a girlfriend. I guess love is really blind.

This is me saying that I love you, I miss you. But to maintain sanity I will love you from distance, cherish the time we spent only in my dreams. But in reality you and I can never be. Not because I loved you less, because I love me way more to accept the punches and being cut into pieces with words made of knives.

This was a lesson learned. Not only to me but for the both of us... I learned never to trust he who claims to love me. And you learned that throwing punches will only lend you into a dark place.

Sorry I left. Not because I loved you less, but I left because I started to value and myself more. For this is my story and I will tell it until it falls on the right ears." Said Nthaby Khanyisani Shield.


South Africa needs more women are like Nthaby, women who know that they deserve better, women that abuse is not love. If we have more women like Nthaby, we are going to have a low rate of abuse and GBV cases will also decrease. Nthaby's story will help a lot of women even those who have given up they'll see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thumbs up to Nthaby for sharing her story and choosing to leave her abuser.

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