Hello good people, I hope you are doing good. Here are funny jokes for the weekend.
An old man saw the class teacher of his grandson, Akpos coming. Akpos had not gone to school for two days. This is what transpired between the grandfather and Akpos:
GRANDFATHER: Akpos, your teacher is coming! Go and hide! You have not been to school for two days.
AKPOS: I told him my grandfather is dead so I could not go to school. So you rather go and hide.
one word for Akpos?
Akpos is ill and goes to the doctor and describes his illness...AKPOS: Doctor, I am always feeling weak.DOCTOR: (gives him a medicine) You must always take four tea-spoonful of this medicine before every meal.AKPOS: Ok Doctor, but there is one problem.DOCTOR: What's the problem?AKPOS: I have only three spoons at home.
PRINCIPAL: Why were you absent yesterday? AKPOS: I attended a burial ma. PRINCIPAL: Hmm! That will not stop me from punishing you today. Now answer me... Who died? AKPOS: The first son of the cousin of my grand-mother's youngest nephew who is also the youngest step-brother to the woman who gave birth to my uncle's youngest step-son and he was also... PRINCIPAL: Alright! Alright! Please! That's enough! Just go to the Class!
A teacher came to the class and advised the children to work hard. She said, "Money don't grow on tree." Akpos stood up and asked the teacher, "If money doesn't grow on tree, why do banks have branches?"
Akpos had 100 naira and went to a corner shop to buy chewing gum.At the shop, Akpos asks the shop-keeper, "Can I please have a berry chewing gum?"The Shop-Keeper answers, "Sorry sir, chewing gum is 300 naira."Akpos asks, "OK. How much is it if I chew it here inside the shop?"
Father: Well Son, how are your exam results ?Son: They're under waterFather: What do you mean ?Son: Below "C" level !
A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them with a sack over each bird and only the legs showing. He sat right on the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each set of bird legs and give the common name, habitat, genus, species, etc.The student looked at each set of bird legs. They all looked the same to him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying, and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it, the madder he got. Finally, he could stand it no longer. He went up to the professor's desk and said, "What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?" With that the student threw his test on the professor's desk an d walked out the door.The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn't know every student's name, so as the student reached the door the professor called, "Mister, what's your name?"The enraged student pulled up his pant legs and said, "You guess, buddy! You guess!"
Hope you enjoyed it.....