Perfectionist parents are never satisfied with their child’s performance and their own performance as a parent. They can’t tolerate their own mistakes and hence can’t tolerate the mistakes of their children either. Their need for control often exaggerates to the extent that instead of helping their children, it starts ruining their bond and creates a negative environment at home.
There is no harm in being a perfectionist. Knowing what you want and exactly how you want it is what makes you a successful person in life. But adopting the same approach for parenting is a risky decision to make. Perfectionist parents often forget that their perfectionist behaviour harms their children more than benefiting them.
To understand how perfectionist parenting affects children, you must know signs of controlling motherhood and try to rectify your behaviour before it’s too late to do so.
Controlling motherhood and related behavioural characteristics can be easily observed in certain parenting styles and situations. To be sure if you’re a perfectionist parent or not, check your parent-child relationship for the following signs:
If you have recognised two or more signs from the list above as your own character traits, then you are most definitely a perfectionist parent. You can’t settle for anything less than perfection.
While previously your work served as an outlet for your perfectionist tendencies, your children are your new project and you are putting in your best efforts to become a perfect parent.
But in reality, instead of achieving your dream of perfection, you are straining your relationship with your kid.
While your perfectionist behaviour may be much appreciated at your workplace, as a parent you have to learn to let go. Harmful effects of perfectionist parents on children are:
Instead of pursuing idealistic standards of parenting and losing the real connection with your children, you should learn to let go every once in a while. Perfectionism in parents is more harmful than it is beneficial.
So, expect a little less from yourself and make yourself as well as your children a lot happier.