How Well Do You Know Your Children?
How many parents can confidently say 'Yes i know 100%of my child lifestyle '
With a lot happening in the country now, the rape cases, suicide, cyber crime,cultism and so on. I've heard most adults lamenting and gnashing their teeth on how this generation of youths are something else.
I've heard some saying that why would a teenager think of committing suicide at such young age, that what problem does such child have? Isn't she living under her parents? She's going to school, they are paying her school fees what more? Lol.
A friend once said it is for an African parent to notice a pregnant child than a depressed one. Listen, parenting is not only about food, clothing and shelter, parenting includes the financial, moral, social, spiritual and EMOTIONAL tutoring of your child.
A child locks up himself in his room from morning to night, only comes out to eat and returns back to his room ....everyday. He doesn't go out to meet friends, doesn't go out to play ball, you don't even stumble on him playing with his siblings and you just ignore 'Ehhh, he's just reserved and matured, cool-headed. See just like Covid-19, depression and other mental disorders are spreading.
When was the last time you sat your child to discuss things with them and listen to their opinions. During the weekends when you have enough time to spend with your family, when was the last time? Fathers? Mothers?.
When was the last time you had them bring their friends and you join in their discussions or is it the 'i don't like my children bringing prople to my house, i don't like them this, i don't want that'. Then how would you know their friends, when something goes wrong, how would know the friends to turn to? Do you even know what your child is capable and not capable of?
See as puberty hits, the child does not only grow bodywise, they grow emotionalwise too. You notice changes like them wanting to make decisions for themselves, being cautious about their appearance, being rebellious and deviant, being aware of the opposite sex, mood swings and privacy etc. and every parent pass through this stages too as a teenager.
You as their parent is to guide them during these stages, which one is accusing your child of being loose and different names just because you saw her texting a guy, you don't even want to know who the person is you already conclude, you don't want to see them hanging out with the opposite sex, you don't want them bringing friends, you turn them to omo-get-inside.
Of course as a parent you are to protect your child, protecting them doesn't include banning them from the outside world, tell them how it is, let their friends visit so you'd notice who is and who is not good for them, let them open up to you and correct them with love not insults everytime that is emotional abuse, they have feelings too.
I've seen stories of teenagers saying that their parents said they regret birthing them, why would you say that to a child for Christ's sake. Whatever circumstances that surrounded bringing them into the world does not warrant that at all. Control your anger and mind your words please.
Don't be a toxic parent, always looking for flaws and nagging. You are only pushing them to rebellion.
Most children seek comfort in social media now sharing their problems with online friends and learning from them. They learn different habits from there, both good and bad.
Converse with your children.
Have real life issues discussion with them.
Take interest in their hobbies, find out their abilities.
Hear them out in taking decisions concerning their lives, correct them when the need be[ use the rod if you have to].
Know their friends, both sex.
Teach them religion, beliefs with love. Stop blackmailing them to attend church or mosque, Jesus didn't come knocking at doors with AK-47 to give your life to God. Have deviotionals with them, teach them love.
Tell them similar experiences you had as a teenager.
Notice queer behaviours, talk to their friends and find out if there is someting you are missing out.
If you notice signs of your child keeping to him or herself, endeavour to talk to them. They may be going through things like peer pressure, bullying from friends etc
Hang out with them, include some of their friends.
Be their friend.
Tell them you love them.
Don't pressurize them, reason with them.
Parenting include all these too.
Charity begins at home.