How To Ask A Girl For A Kiss (For Both Boys And Girls)

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You want to kiss a girl. If the mood is right, and you're picking up strong signs that she wants you to kiss her, then you don't necessarily need to ask. Just lean in and kiss her. If you aren't sure, though, then it may be best to ask first.

Asking for the Kiss

1. Make eye contact and hold it. Grab her attention with soft, kind eye contact. Hold here eyes for longer than a second or two, until there is a breathless, timeless space that surrounds you. The world disappears, and it's just the two of you. To get her attention, keep it minimal and subtle:

Touch her shoulder, upper arm, or cheek and say her name.

A simple, quiet "hey" is still the most effective way to get her attention.

"I need you for a moment" or "just one more thing" is a great, noncommittal way to hold her attention for an end of the date kiss.

Move in for a big, full-body hug to see if she's feeling equally romantic.

2. Use a quick, direct question if you're shy. Polite, simple, and to the point, these lines get right to the point and put it in her court. Keep eye contact when talking, and keep your head close enough that you can both move in when she says yes.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Can we kiss?"

"Is it okay if I kiss you right now?"

3. Confidently tell her you'd like to kiss her. Honesty, in all things, is the best policy. So just tell her you want to kiss her -- it's not forceful or rude, just confidently romantic.

"I want to kiss you right now." Unless she says "no," move in slowly after you say it.

"I'd love a kiss before I go."

"Let's kiss."

"Write her a note saying "kiss me?" or "I want to kiss you," if you think she'd like the cute, romantic gesture. Then move in wordlessly.

4. Ask with your body language. Don't dive for lips, just move in slowly. Give her the chance to move in or gracefully bow back out. If she isn't feeling it and doesn't want to kiss, she'll say no and lean away.

Move in slowly.

Half-close your eyes

Let her come part way, meeting you for the kiss.

Hold her close with a hug, keeping your faces close together. If she keeps eye contact, move in.


Try this trick from our expert: When you feel like it's the right time for a kiss, smile and say, "Close your eyes." If she closes her eyes, she's giving you the green light to lean in and kiss her. If she doesn't close her eyes, or if she giggles or says, "What are you doing?" then don't kiss her yet. However, even if she laughs it off, you've helped build the romantic tension and flirtation, so she'll likely still be anticipating that first kiss.

5. Shrug off rejection with kindness and an apology. There are a ton of reasons she might say no, but none of them need to be returned with rudeness. She just might not be ready yet. Be sure to politely apologize for misreading things, then move on -- she'll appreciate it.

"I'm sorry. I had a wonderful time tonight-- I'll see you around.

"I misread things, I'm sorry. Have a great night."

"I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that, I'm sorry."

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