Falling in love with someone new can be the most euphoric sensation in the world, and just when we think we can't get any happier, that particular someone expresses their desire to be with us as well. It's something so valuable and unique that many of us feel compelled to go to great lengths to retain this person in our lives. We felt as if we could lift heaven and earth and divide the oceans in half to be with them. After all, “love conquers everything” is a saying for a reason.
But what if it's not true love? What if the person you care so deeply about doesn't share your feelings? What if you're giving up everything for the wrong person?
Love is a profound and complex feeling over which we have little control. We don't choose who we fall in love with or how we feel about someone, therefore it's unavoidable that we sometimes fall for the wrong person. What matters most is that we recognize who is worthy of our affections and who is not, who truly loves us and who is only pretending to.
So here are eight telltale indications that can help you distinguish between true and phony love:
Some people claim that they aren't ready to commit because they don't want to be tied down to someone else. You and your partner, on the other hand, do not have control over one another in a healthy relationship. You keep your independence while honoring each other's uniqueness. Your companion, on the other hand, appears to have different views. They tell you who you can and can’t go out with, what you can and can’t wear, or what time you need to be home. They get to decide where you go, what you eat, and how you spend your time together. True love, on the other hand, has boundaries and allows you to be your own person, but fake love does not.
You've been hearing from your pals about how "you've changed" since you started seeing your spouse. They claim you've lost your customary confidence, humor, or charm, and that you've become less vivacious and upbeat. Whatever the change is, you know it isn't for the best in your heart. Your partner, on the other hand, makes you feel as if you must change who you are or hide certain pieces of yourself in order to suit them. You never feel like you can be yourself around them, which is a major warning sign! True love does not transform you into an entirely new person. It has no effect on your radiance or your spirit.It's intended to bring out all of your best attributes and help you become a better version of yourself.
Constant, unjustified jealousy is another indicator of immature and unhealthy love. Your lover has lost faith in you and does not believe you will remain faithful to them. When they aren't around, they don't feel comfortable letting you hang out with your pals (especially those of the opposite gender). They don't want you to spend too much time away from them, so they need to know where you are and what you're up to all of the time. They have no regard for your privacy and read all of your texts/messages for the sake of gaining some peace of mind. They're skeptical, watchful, and mistrust.
Do you and your partner hardly see one other these days? Is it taking them a long time to respond to your texts? Or do you have a habit of canceling plans at the last minute because “something came up”? No matter how patient you are with them, you must understand that all of these behaviors indicate that your partner does not regard you as a priority in their life. Because, no matter how busy they claim to be, if they truly care about you and want to spend time with you, they will make every effort to accommodate you. Instead of making hollow excuses and half-hearted promises, they'll make an effort to be there for you and spend time with you.
If you and your partner are unable to connect on an emotional level, it is likely that they do not truly love you. You can't love someone you don't understand, after all. Your companion refuses to communicate with you or discuss their feelings. They're icy, distant, and aloof. They don't console you when you're sad or rejoice with you when you succeed. Your relationship isn't deep or significant in any way. Sure, developing that level of emotional intimacy with someone takes time, but your spouse isn't even trying! It's as if they're a stone wall that you'll never be able to scale unless they let their guard down with you.
Your partner doesn't appear interested in you or your life, aside from being emotionally aloof. They don't inquire about your hobbies, passions, or objectives. They aren't interested in your thoughts or feelings, and they don't make an attempt to learn more about you. When you chat about your friends or family, they look bored, and they never make arrangements with you. A spouse who truly loves you will be intrigued about you, passionate about you, and care enough to get to know you, unlike phony love, which is apathetic and uninvolved.
Do you work around your partner's schedule in your relationship? And do more of what they enjoy than what you like? Do you always go out of your way to help them? Or are you willing to give up your time, energy, or other valuable resources in order to make them happy? If your significant other truly loves you, they'll be willing to compromise and meet you halfway. Instead, they're content to let you handle all of the emotional labor and duties in the relationship. They are egotistical and just think about themselves.
Finally, the most obvious symptom of phony love is how easily your lover is willing to call it quits with you. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but if your partner says they "can't do this anymore" after every minor quarrel, they don't truly love you. They don't want to talk things out, provide second chances, or work together to find a solution. Because their natural reaction is to throw in the towel and give up altogether. Which only goes to prove that they don't give a damn if the relationship succeeds or not.
Relationships don't have to be flawless in order for you to be happy. However, it's critical that you and your spouse share the same feelings about each other and are both prepared to put in the effort to make things work. Between the two of you, there must be honesty, trust, respect, and, most importantly, a true and heartfelt love. You're wasting your time if you don't. So, before it's too late, save yourself the misery and learn to recognize the signals of phony love.