Being a parent to adult children has always been a difficult job. If the child-parent relationship is halfway sound, the child will not defy or disobey in the early years of adolescence , and may not even in the later years.
Parenting is the process of taking care of children until they are old enough to take care of themselves.
Parenting are the things that parents do to raise their children.
Parenting adult children in the 21st Century is not an easy task, but we can achieve it if we adopt the right methods.
There is no way we can raise our children exactly the same way we were raised.
According to psychologists, we belong to the X generation while the children of nowadays are Y generation also known as the millennials . We also have the Z generation and Alpha generation among them. The millennials are children born between 1981 - 1996. While the Z generation are those born between 1996 - early 2000 and the alpha generation are those born between the early 2010s.
Another thing we have to bear in mind is that children are not the same, so we must decide the right methods to use on a particular child.
There is no room for arm chair parenting in the 21st century . You cannot sit down and fold your hands with the believe that you can just give instructions without follow up. You must make yourself available.
While they are away to the college , paying them a surprise visit is a way to let them know you are very involved. A parent must learn how to play his/her part very well to avoid blames.
You cannot be an analog parent to digital children . The 21st century parent must be very sensible. He/she must must be ready to learn . No room for laziness at all. You must learn even as the children are learning new ways of doing things. Increase in knowledge so that you can fit in and be able to relate well with your adult children . This will make them feel free to relate well with you as they won't be bored while with you.
A parent must find a common ground with their children for good communication . In talking to them, dialogue should be employed. You must change from nagging to a friendly conversation. Determine to understand how they feel, and then make your self understood. This skills requires patience and a good listening skills.
Allow them to express themselves, as this will go a long way to relieve them of some bottled emotions.
Inculcate good values and morals intentionally by explanation . No matter how young an adult is, he/she deserves to be treated with some respect . Admonish your young adult the way you would like to be admonished by those who have authority over you.
Discipline them for mis deeds, but relate with them in a way that does not tamper with their adult dignity. The first and most important point by far is that the adult children need and want guidance from their parents and even rules no matter how much they argue against them. (Their pride won't let them admit the need openly) .
This doesn't mean that parents can be arbitrary or overbearing. Adult children have too much dignity and indignation for that, they want to discuss the issue on an adult - to - adult basis.
The method employed at this stage of child training is what I will describe as coaching . At this stage, like a coach, you may need to step aside a little and behold your ' product' move in the right direction you have pointed out to him/her through your teaching , while correcting , motivating, and nudging them when necessary. To coach your adult child, you must cease relating with him/her as if he/she is still a child. You must interact with him/her respectfully like the young adult that he/she is.
Please, know that anything given to a child outside of training is a wasted investment. What we sow into our children today will largely determine their outcome tomorrow.
Parenting is a joint responsibility. Husband and wife living together will help the training to be highly qualitative.
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